
人教版新目标九年级英语Unit12单元主题写作 学生优秀作文精选及名师点评 作文要求 书面表达 (本题 15 分) 请根据要求完成短文写作。 人生是一次不可逆转的旅程,从不缺少意外和惊喜。你有过什么出乎意料的经历吗?请你根据以下思维导图的提示,用英文写一篇短文向你校英语周报投稿,讲述自己的一次意外经历。 一次出乎意料的经历 经历发生的背景(时间、起因) 经历的过程 …… 感悟与收获 经过 …… 结果 高分作文(1) An Unexpected Experience Life is full of the unexpected. When it comes to an unexpected experience, something happened last Wednesday leaves a deep impression on me. It was a sunny day and I made an appointment to see a film with my friend. However, my bike broke down when passing by the park. Neither my friend nor I was able to get it repaired, which made us really disappointed. All of a sudden, we saw some children flying kites in the park and I came up with an idea,“Why not go to the park instead ” Later, we had so much fun there that we even forgot about the trouble just now. From the experience, I know that when we come across difficulties, we should not only deal with them calmly but also try to look at it from a new angle. Only by doing so can we turn our bad luck into something unexpected. 名师点评: 结构:严格遵循思维导图逻辑,清晰呈现 “经历背景(时间、起因)— 经历过程(经过、结果)— 感悟收获” 的完整脉络,逻辑连贯。 内容:选取 “看电影途中自行车故障却意外在公园收获乐趣” 的生活场景,情节转折自然,紧扣 “出乎意料” 的主题,贴近学生生活。 语言表达:运用 “come up with an idea”“have so much fun that...”“deal with...calmly” 等亮点短语,且有 “Neither...nor...”“Why not... ” 等句式变化,丰富表达层次。 语法准确性:语法完全正确,表达流畅自然。 高分作文(2) An Unexpected Experience Life is a one-way journey full of surprises. One unexpected experience that I’ll never forget happened last summer vacation. I had always been shy and afraid of speaking in public. So I signed up for an English speech contest not only to challenge myself but also to push my limits. I spent day and night practicing every sentence so that my speech flowed smoothly. This great effort made it possible to calm my nerves when the contest day arrived.On stage, my legs trembled at first. But only when I started speaking did my tension fade.I delivered the speech fluently and confidently. To my surprise, I won first prize!How surprising life is! This experience taught me that we should step out of our comfort zones. You never know what amazing things you can achieve until you try. It also made me realize that preparation and courage can turn the unexpected into something wonderful. 名师点评: 结构:完全契合题目要求,以 “报名演讲比赛挑战自我 — 精心准备并参赛 — 意外获奖” 为线索,结构清晰且层层递进。 内容:聚焦 “克服害羞、突破自我并收获意外奖项” 的成长经历,主题积极励志,故事具有感染力,易引发读者共鸣。 语言表达:词汇和句式较为高级,如 “step out of our comfort zones”“push my limits”“delivered the speech fluently and confidently”,还运用了倒装句 “Only when I started spe ... ...
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